Brand New

Summer is starting to whine down unfortunately, but I must say that I had a pretty memorable one. From parties, to random adventures, to club hopping, to straight chillin, this summer is definitely one for the books. One thing this summer definitely helped me with is grounding myself and bringing myself back to who I once was. With the summer quickly coming to an end, the school year is about to start back up and that means that everyone will be going back to their schools and trying to get back into the swing of things. One thing that is always common, especially at Hampton, is people coming back "brand new". I think everyone has dealt with it; from boyfriends, to boos, to friends, to even your room mate, everyone thinks that coming back with a new attitude is always for the best. Me and my friend Tara always try to figure out who, out of the people we know, will do this and it always seems to shock us, mainly because it was the boys we were talking to that came back "BRAND NEW".

Now I hope this year is different since we're juniors and we should pretty much know who we're cool with. But for some reason, I can't help but to wonder, how things really will be this semester. I know things with my friends will probably stay the same, then again, there might be a little bit of surprises from certain people, but none the less, my friends pretty much stay real. But when it comes to boys, I don't really know how that will go. My mom kid around with me in the beginning of the summer saying "When you get back to school, all your friends are going to still have their boys and you're going to have to start over." Then I knew it was a joke, but I started thinking about it yesterday. That maybe the case when the semester start, and I'm just going to have to be prepared for it. All good things come to an end at some point in time.

Am I ready for it to end, probably not. Do I want it to end? No, not really. Will it end? Only time will tell. Until I know what's going to happen, I guess I'm just going to have to protect myself and my feelings.

Too Late to Apologize??

As one of the top 2 trends on twitter, Chris Brown publically apologized for his actions back in February that involved Rhianna. I don't know about everyone else, but his apology seem genuine to me and although there is no way to justify what he did, I'm still and always will be a Chris Brown fan.

Rules are made to be broken

So I was talking to one of my friends from high school today and we were catching up on each other lives. And of course we were discussing the boys that are in each other lives and I was telling her about him. I basically gave her the whole semester run down of everything that has happen to between us, the good and the bad and overall my friend was so shock at the way I was handling things. Now, let me update you guys on the "old Tamara". Back in high school, especially senior year, I guess you could call me a "pimp/player". I knew the game and played it very well I must say. Never got hurt, always did the hurting. I didn't really take any BS from no guy, because if that was the case, like my man GUCCI said "next 15 one was coming". I had so many rules when it came to boys. Only talk to a boy 3 times out the week, never saved phone number tills after we've been texting for at least a week, no emotions involves, when they started getting intotheir feelings, fall back. My friends use to call me the "female version of boys". If any of my friends had a boy problem, I had the answer to it.

What tickled my friend so much about my situation now is that I was not like the "Old Tamara" when it came to him. I changed ALL the rules up to the game. I hate to admit it but she was so right. I let my guard down with him and basically started acting like a female, with feelings and emotions and everything else. The sad thing about it is that I didn't even really notice it until she pointed it out. Now my friend asked me why after everything I told her I was still talking to him and still having him around.That wasn't like me at all. One mess up and I was done with you, I did't have time for second chances. And I had to explain it to her like this:

It's good to have some kind of rules or guidelines that you go by when it comes to boys. They are helpful when it comes to protecting yourself from getting hurt. But sometimes they are meant to be bent or broken. Especially when it's a good guy that you have. He's a nice guy. A little rough around the edges sometimes, and although he don't catch on quickly to some of the things that I want, he means well. All the little "games" and "run around" that girls go through, I don't have to. He makes it plain and clear how he feels (when I drag it out of him lol) and he means it. But overall, he's right for me. Not all guys are perfect. Even the best ones, have something that you don't agree with, but that's fine. If everything was perfect all the time, that would get boring. Sometime you need a little disagreements and problems to reassure that it is worth it. He may not understand that I need attention and that I'm an emotional person all the time, but at least he treats me right. He don't play me or is rude to me. Like I said before, he's a genuine person. Even my room mate is all for him (which is a good thing because Tara, doesn't fight for ANYONE! lol).

After explaining all this to my girl, she finally understand why I'm still involved with him. She told me "well, Tamara, it seems like you got yourself, a nice guy there. Don't mess it up." And I must say, I'm really trying hard not to :-)

Truly Blessed

Lately a lot of things have been in my favor and I am so happy about that. My grandpa just brought me a car that I am overly appreciative about. I've been wanting a new car since my old one died in November, but my mom kept telling me that she couldn't afford it right now. So all summer my goal was to have me a car by at least my birthday, if not then by the time I go back to school. While my birthday was approaching, I realize that I didn't have enough money saved up to come close to buying any type of reliable car, so those goals and dreams were about to go down the drain. Until Thursday when my grandpa ask me to come over and to spend some time with him. In the back of my mind I was thinking "Man, I don't have time to just sit there and talk to him, I rather be sleep!" But I went anyways because I haven't seen my grandparents in a minute. To my surprise, when I got there, my grandpa had my car parked out front ready for me. A 2002 Mercedes Benz! I was too excited and very appreciative. One thing that I realize lately is that although my family do not do things when I want them to, they always makes sure that I have everything that I need. More importantly, GOD always knows what we need and when we need it. I though all semester last year that I NEED a car, and although I "thought" I needed one, in reality, I probably was not ready for one. God and my family has truly blessed me with everything that I could ask for and I am graciously appreciative of it. There is nothing more that I can say but "THANK YOU" and "I AM BLESS"

Black Summer's Night

So the most anticipated album is here finally, well for me atlleast. Maxwell has produce yet another highly favored album for me "Black Summer Night". Although it just came out yesterday, I have already heard every song and I'm feeling them all. My favorites so far has to be "Bad Habit" and "Fistful of Tears" besides from his radio single "Pretty Wings". I suggest that everyone get his album and support him, because I can't even remember the last time we've heard some real R&B music during our generations.

Careless

So blog I must say that I've been really Happy lately!! I've been smiling a lot more, laughing a lot, and just overall in a good mood!! Partly because I was anticipating my 20th birthday which was yesterday. I had a lot of fun this past weekend back down at Hampton, celebrating with my girls, brothers, and my friends down there. People really cared about it being my birthday and really made sure that I had a good time. It was non-stop fun and things to do, I wish we didn't have to leave on Sunday. My actual birthday was pretty chill. He was actual the first one to call, which was actually a big shock to me. I got flowers sent to me from someone that I still don't know who. I went to dinner with my family and ended up chilling with my big brothers and Pitts. I was surprise at how many people actually called me and remembered because I didn't really bring it up to that many people unless you read my signature on my text messages. Over all it was really nice.

But beside my birthday arrival, I have been really happy lately because of my new care free view of everything. Nothing bothers me anymore. Whether it's family, drama with friends, HIM, I just don't care. And it's not a mean or a negative I don't care, it's more of a I just don't wanna be effected by these little things anymore. No more hoping he calls/text me, I just don't care. If he wants to talk to me, he knows my number and how to reach me. And I must say, this carefree attitude feels good! Drama with friends don't even phase me anymore. If he has nothing to do with me and my name isn't really in it, I could careless about what happens.

Now I don't want anyone to think that this is me trying to be reckless and mean, but think about it: why do we care about all the petty little things, especially when the other person, probably isn't even tripping over it. Life is too short to be worrying about the "he say/she say", the boy drama, and the petty things that happen in your family. Let it all go, do you! Who cares what others say or do, because in the end, it's all about YOUR happiness. And I must say I am really happy right now :-)