Obsessed

What’s your obsession? Chocolate, Caramel, Sweet Tea?

We all have our obsessions, but mine?? Let me tell you about mine.

He’s about 6’2 brown-skin, with the smile that lights up his face

My obsession is him.

Not the obsession that makes you want to stalk him. No

This obsession is simple.

It’s the urge to want to spent time with him, to be near him.

It's the obsession with the way he talks, the way he walks,

The way he hugs me just to say hi…it’s just him

It’s hear his voice, his touch, his….yea that’s my obsession

Waking up in the morning knowing that he’s on the mind.

Knowing that he is the first and last person you think about

Knowing that there is a possibility that you will see him today…that’s my obsessions

Now some say obsession can be harmful for you,

But I’m going to take my chance with this one

Because this obsession not only calms and relaxes me, it also challenges me

It keeps me on my feet thinking about what he’s going to do next…obsession takes control

That’s the kind of obsessions I need

Something that is not given to me easily

Something I have to work for

But what happens when obsession turns into something else??

Only time will tell……

It's Bout That Time...

So the end of the semester couldn't have come at a better time.  Things are just getting out of hand! I went to visit one of my big brothers the other night and we ended up talking bout things and how close we were last year and he got me really thinking....did I really change??  Now I know part of growing up means maturing, but what if I changed for the worse rather than the best.  Little things that never matter to me now means the world to me.  For example, the way I look, what clothes I'm wearing, do people see me, how other people look....that was never me!! Changing is a good thing most of the time, but sometimes it can turn into something bad! I'm glad my brother gave me a reality check on this because who better to tell you about yourself than they people you call family and friends.  

Now my brother talking to me was one of the few things that have been bothering me lately.  You can tell Spring/Summer is here because guys are out on the prawl! Dudes I haven't talked to all semester are coming out of their shell bold as ever!! I don't understand yall! Now I know I can be a flirt sometimes...but this semester I've been on my chill status for real, cuz I'm still feeling HIM. But these other guys are really on some other stuff.  What ever happen to dudes and girls just being friends and just chilling?? Unless I given you any reason for you to think I like you, don't get bold...PLEASE! 

Besides from the dudes getting bold down here, I've just been to myself a lot lately. Call me emotional, but when stuff is bothering me, I just want to be to myself!! That' s my way of dealing with whatever is going on in my life.   What bothers me the most is when people constantly ask me what's wrong...if I felt like saying it out loud, I would.  I don't hide things just to hide them, sometimes I just need time to myself....everyone does. Even the most sociable people, need to have some alone time once in a while. Here in college, it's hard to have alone time, because your always with at least one other person, whether it's your room mate, best friend, boo, or whatever. In order to stay sane, every one just needs time to their selves. With this summer coming, I'm sure I will get a lot of this.

Remember when….

I first met you and couldn't pronounce your name

You told your friend to keep me away from you because I annoyed you

I use to harass you every time I saw you because I knew you didn’t like it

I wanted to call you husband and you wanted a divorce

I gave you “purple kisses”

You slowly started to tolerate me

We chilled for the first time outside

You helped me with my big brother when he was tripping that night

Armstrong became our chill spot on the stairs

We found those little word magnets outside of Armstrong

You promise me to go to the universal soul- circus over the summer (still waiting)

We first kissed

You were the director and I was the co-star

I always said your legs were going to run away from you

We watch one Saw movie every Sunday together

Ogden became our second chill spot last semester

We talked to each other every night before we went to sleep over Christmas break

We couldn’t wait to see each other when second semester arrived

You let me vent you about anything that was going on with me 

You surprise me with my favorite pink cupcake from pirates grill

You surprise me with the perfect Valentine’s Day gifts J

I wanted to cook you dinner and you decided to eat cereal 

We ended up going to the Waffle House for dinner

You were super sice for that James Hall Mixtape

You wanted to listen to Lil Wayne mixtapes before we went to sleep

You always wanted to watch ESPN Sportcenter

You made fun of my tacos because it didn’t have the right cheese

You tried to play me because I didn’t know what re-nig meant in SPADES

You cheered me up every time I was sad

I played that funny April Fools Jokes

You played a horrible April Fool’s Joke

We went out for ice cream and you thought it was weird that I broke up my cone

You lashed out at me about making mean blogs about you

We both had our own special days of the week

You sent me “random notes of the day”, and they made me happy

You looked at this post and knew that it was all about YOU J

 

Where is the College part??

So by the looks of my Twitter and Facebook, a lot of people is watching College Hill. Now I guess you can say that I'm a little for the ignorant shows but College Hill is getting to be too much. With numerous seasons under it's belt, I give props to them for knowing what to put on TV to get the ratings. Since the first episode of this new Season, all we have seen is fights, after fights, after fights!!! Come on, it's getting old pretty fast! This new cast is just plain dumb to me. I don't even see this as being College Hill. Isn't College Hill suppose to be about students at a HBCU living together under on roof?? If that's the case, what does this season have to do with any of it?!? I know part of being in college is about spring break and all, but can someone is this house pick up a book or something!! College Hill is starting to give off the bad image about black adolescence that don't do anything but cause drama and start mayhem!! Can anyone tell me where the positive parts about college in this show??

Let's Just Be

So before I went to sleep last night, my bestie called me and I let him read my blog and tell me what he thought of it. He was pretty impressed but a little worried about my last one so I explained to him the situation and he helped me realize my problem. I'm over analyzing things. Now one thing about me is that I don't have a problem stating that I'm wrong about something when it's the case and you know what, I think I was over-reacting just a little. My best friend gave me a lot of insight on how guys operate. When I started having problems with HIM, I found out that it was just personal problems within myself. Now ladies, I know yall probably thinking, "O gosh, here is another woman making excuses for her man" But that' not the case at all.

Ladies, we can not be comfortable with the ways are going and then all of sudden switch the game up on them, guys aren't ready like that. They can not just get up and change things about them, especially when it's the way they've been all their lives. And why make all these changes if we are still doing the sames things just like them, we're not perfect either. If you want things to change between the 2 of you, then let it start with you first. If he agrees and sees that it's for the best then he will follow. Guys need guidance sometimes and we have to be there for that. And once again, I'm not degrading or playing guys, there is nothing wrong with a little guidance sometimes. BUT there is a difference between guidance and dictation. No guy wants a girl that's always trying to tell them what to do and when to do that, they have a mom for that. Guys wants someone their to nurture them physical, spiritual, and emotional. But don't try all of this too soon! We have our whole lives for this and we are just in our primes really. We can't rush everything into these 4 little years we have here. If we do that, then what will we have to look for later on in life.

My best friend also let me in on something else. Ladies, stop trying to find or make your soul-mate come from school. That's a RARE case that you will find him here and if that's the case, then congrats. Your LUCKY! But for the rest, there are wayyyy too many guys out here in the world for you to limit your choices to the boys you see everyday at school. They are all fun and games now, but when we graduate, what about that nice fine looking man with the Range Rover at your office, or what bout that young man that just got his PH-D. There too many of them in this world ladies...you will find the one for you!

Game Over

Well, it's Spring time and you know what that means...Time for people to start acting brand new! Now Spring and Summer are my favorite seasons of the year. Weather's nice, everyone is in a good mood, sometimes a little too good of a mood. Yea this is the time of the year when being single is the only way to go. Old flings resurface from last year and current flings start to become history. But what do you do when you want things to stay the same? It's crazy how when the ball season is over, so is my own season. March madness really had a toll on my team. I don't even know how it all started!! It's only some much you can do to keep someone around. But one thing you can't do is keep pushing for something that just isn't going to be. 7 months...Gone. It's only so much I can take before I move on. The past two month...nothing. I don't even know who you are anymore. Guess time's up on the clock. Thought the team was ready, guess my players are still rookies to the game. Well my investments and team has not time for that. I can't teach you how to play bball, I can only coach you to success, if you WANT it. Guess you didn't.The season is over and it's time for a new starting five. This season, the team played well but it just wasn't enough to win the championship. O well, this Spring and Summer will be a good time to clear the head and get ready for fall tryouts.

Home is where the heart is

Being home this weekend has reminded me so much of why I call it home. When your home, you just get a sense of comfort and security. Ive only been home for a day basically but it seems like all the drama back at school doesn't even matter!! I spent tonight with my Bestie and His lil brother that I call my brother too, and we were just reminiscing on the good days and life. Man so much has changed between us. My first love is my best friend and I wouldn't trade it for the world. Even my mom loves him, which isn't rare, but as much as me and him been through, a love/hate relationship would be OK too. lol He gets me all the time. You know how some people have those people in your life that always seem to come back no matter how many times you try to get over them....well yea that's him. High School sweethearts turned best friends...that's crazy you might think, but that's us. Take it or Leave it.

Now I know some people say ex's can't be just friends or whateva but I disagree. Who else can take the role of a best friend than someone who has seen you at your best and worse moments. Yea things didn't work out with us like we planned but in the end we always have each other's back. No matter what guy that comes in my life or girl that comes into his, we always promise to be there for each other, regardless of the situation. Some of my friends from high school don't get the friendship we have, and they probably won't ever get it. But its doesn't matter as long as when I come home, I know my heart is always here with my Bestie :-)

Don't Dwell On It...

The funniest thing to me when it comes to boys is when they realize that they had was something special. It's crazy how I went on emotional roller coaster rides with you and had to move on. But as soon as you see me happy and living life without you, you want to come back as if nothing ever happened...WRONG!! what ever happen to old girl that you chose over me?? The one with the annoying ass accent, no sense of style, and scary looking eyes. Now trust and believe that I am not hating, because I give credit where it is deserve. But if you going to do me dirty or going to give me competition, at least give me someone that's on my level. Because when it comes to competition, I thrive in them. You might say, I lost because you chose her, but in the end, who is hitting who up on a daily basis. Who can't be in the same room with me without staring at me from a far, as if I don't see it. She wasn't all she looked to be huh? She didn't satisfy your deepest fantasies and pleasures that only I know about huh? Man boys are so funny sometimes. I'm not trying to put you on blast but I'm sorry that it's funny how you really think you can come back like nothing wrong every happened! What kind of girl do you take me for?? The "emotional, dramatic, crazy girl" that you once treated like nothing, is happy and is working with BIGGER (and I do mean bigger) and BETTER things. I hope you read this is realize how much of jerk you really were and I hope you don't dwell too much on what would've been, because that's in the past and there is no need to wishing and hoping for something that will NEVER EVER happen.

March Madness in April???

Sorry to let the world know but there's a problems with relationships. There are too many games being played. I like to look at this whole relationship thing as a basketball game. You have your starting five that are always in the game and always ready, to take that number one spot. You keep them around as a sense of back-up, just in case your point guard just isn't up to the challenge. But there is always that special one, that point guard that's always ready for anything. He's shows the most passion and determination for the game. You can tell his heart is in the game. You just know he is going to take you to the championships and win it all. But what happens, when he continuously fouls out?? What do you do then? You've already benched the rest of the team and it's just an one-on-one game now. Me as the coach, I know he has determination but sometimes I don't think he still has the passion for the game he had months ago. But is that just me tripping?? Now I know I constantly say I don't have time for games, but I think that's all a lie because I'm still playing them today even after 4 years of losing them. It must be my love for the game, I don't know. Same game, different guy. But this time, the ball is in his court and time is running out.....

Intuition

What's the number one rule of the game?? Don't catch feelings!!! You do that, and game over. But what if you thought that something was going to come of this, then what do you do? I'm still listening to Keri Hilson's CD and I must say that my favorite song has to be "Intuition". She is talking about how she's feeling this guy but her intuition is telling her that he is going to mess up like any other guy that has come before him. I must agree with Keri on this song. You can try all you want to treat every guy differently, but at the end of the day, they will some how show you why you can't trust them. I let one of my male friends, Thomas hear this song, and he wasn't feeling it completely but he agreed with some of what she is saying, and that is how I feel. Girls are always talking about how guys cant be trusted and what night, but when it all comes down to it, girls can't be either. Now girls, you can hate me for saying this but it's the truth. Honestly, you would be dumb to tell a guy to trust you because in all reality, we play games too. And hate to break it to yall, it's going to get longer and worse as we get older.